allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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