Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
