The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
