even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
