you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
