it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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