Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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