AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
