Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
