I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
actually, I'm a sock model
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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