don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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