soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
