I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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