I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
please come you make the beer taste better
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
