I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
