Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
