i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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