Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
