is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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