She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
