I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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