I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
