I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I pour the whiskey from now on
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
