i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
