Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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