i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
