This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
