I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
