Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
