So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
pray to the hookup gods
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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