So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
