you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
