ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
