Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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