I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
