Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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