He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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