Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
