i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
