All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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