if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
