Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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