thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
