i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
this boner is exhausting
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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