im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
