At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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