If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Redeem this text for a blowjob
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
