I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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