No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
