I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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